To me, so much of the dysfunction surrounding dating in middle age boils down to the way men and women of my generation were taught to behave. Specifically, little boys were brought up to conquer while girls were brought up to be docile.
When I started dating again after being widowed at fifty, I wondered, where are the men who act like grown ups? The ones who get their gutters cleaned, keep their homes reasonably tidy, have edible food in their refrigerators, and want a life partner instead of easy sex.
My best advice: To find love, develop your empathy muscle. In my experience, many middle-aged men have let it atrophy. Dating at fifty was like being in a wolf pack, or worse, a law firm.
Let’s start a movement called the unfun daters where we treat our dates like potential life partners instead of bottom feeders.
I was shocked at all the criticisms I received from men when I started dating in middle age. Instead of taking them to heart, I should have just walked away.