Are you feeling alone in this?
When my husband died of cancer in 2013, I felt unbelievably alone. So like any reasonable introvert, I started a blog. It’s been a healing process as I’ve gone from bitter and isolated to…um…less so, depending on the minute.
Like so many who have fallen into abuse, I rationalized that I could help him to change. He needed me. Having failed to save my husband, I wanted to save someone, even someone who wasn’t very nice to me.
To me, so much of the dysfunction surrounding dating in middle age boils down to the way men and women of my generation were taught to behave. Specifically, little boys were brought up to conquer while girls were brought up to be docile.
When I started dating again after being widowed at fifty, I wondered, where are the men who act like grown ups? The ones who get their gutters cleaned, keep their homes reasonably tidy, have edible food in their refrigerators, and want a life partner instead of easy sex.